Agreement 5: Be Sceptical, But Learn To Listen (Don Miguels Work Applied to Leadership)

This is the last blog of a six part blog series of which I'm exploring Don Miguel Ruiz's famous work "The Four Agreements" of which he added one more in a later book "The Fifth Agreement".  If you would like a summary of all the agreements, have a read of this blog.

In this blog, I'm diving deeper into the fifth agreement and its application to Conscious Leadership: Be Sceptical, But Learn To Listen.

If you haven't already read about the first agreement,  the second agreement, the third agreement, or the fourth agreement, click on the links to read them first.

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Some background first!

The four agreements (of which Don Miguel then added a fifth later on), are in Don's words "offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love."  They are concerned mainly with the agreements that you make with yourself. 

Therefore each agreement takes you deeper into integrity with yourself, which is an essential attribute for any Conscious Leader who is genuinely interested in creating positive change in the world.

The last of the agreements, Be Sceptical, But Learn to Listen, builds upon the last four agreements and was published by Don Miguel as a separate book.

So let's dive in.

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Agreement #5 Be Sceptical, But Learn To Listen

Scepticism isn't about being a stick in the mud and not believing anything at all. Or questioning to ignore others and justify your own point of view.

Scepticism is about having an earnest drive to find the truth.

Scepticism is about having an earnest drive to find the truth. This ties in with agreement three (don't assume anything) and agreement four (always do your best), because in order to find the truth, you have to do your best to find the truth, beyond your assumptions of what you think may be true (but which have no evidence).

In order to find the truth, you have to do your best to find the truth, beyond your assumptions of what you think may be true

Scepticism is personal too, isn't it? Because what I deem to be true, is largely based upon the lens that I have on the world (see agreement two - don't take things personally).

So I must know that what I believe to be true right now is available to change as I acknowledge the ever-changing nature of what it means to be a Conscious Human, who is in evolution.

I must know that what I believe to be true right now is available to change as I acknowledge the ever-changing nature of what it means to be a Conscious Human, who is in evolution.

So just as we have to be sceptical about everything (that is challenge our own assumptions), we also have to learn to listen. Because it's in that listening of other people's perspectives and (their) truths, that we get to be challenged on the assumptions we have about the world.

In that listening of other people's perspectives and (their) truths... we get to be challenged on the assumptions we have about the world

Learning to listen, without judgement, without assumptions, with no agenda, is an art in itself. I like to say that listening and hearing are two different things. Hearing is recognising speech and making sense of that. Listening on the other hand, is hearing the words and trying to understand what those words mean, from the point of view of the speaker.

So inherent to scepticism, is a doubt that what you are hearing is true. And in large what we hear (through words), is not true, because words are just symbols of what someone really wants to express. We need to listen to get behind the words themselves and find the true meaning of what someone is saying.

We need to listen to get behind the words themselves and find the true meaning of what someone is saying.

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In your leadership position, your ability to apply this agreement, means the difference between someone feeling truly seen and valued. It also allows you to evolve into a more inclusive leader, who is open to many perspectives.

As I keep saying and I will continue to say, you being the role model of this, means that you start to covertly influence those around you, to become more like that too. And if everyone took the time to listen we would have a much more peaceful and harmonious world.

Fortunately, all this, can start within the circle of influence that you have right now. Use your platform for good. Use it well.

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So for your own reflection here are a few questions for you to answer:

• In what areas of your personal and professional life do you need to learn to be sceptical AND listen?
• Do you consider yourself a good listener? That is you are able to decipher the meaning behind the words people say?
• How do you think the application of this agreement in your leadership role would change your influence and impact?
• On a scale of 1-10 how important do you think this agreement is in developing yourself as a leader?
• What resources and support do you need to personally embody this agreement?

Comment below with your answers! I'd love to hear what you have to say!

And that's that! That's all of the five agreements according to Don Miguel Ruiz. Want to read a summary of all five agreements?  Click here to read this blog.

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A last reminding note:

As was the intention of Don Miguel's work, these agreements first are to be applied to oneself, before applying to the outside world. I agree with this approach - I believe that to truly be in integrity, you must first be the embodiment of that which you want to create. This doesn't mean that you have to be perfect to start, it just means that you have to be doing the work, honestly. 

I don't believe that we ever get to the end of our spiritual and personal development, so instead of thinking perfection is the aim, think of your development as a journey of which you are fully committed to doing. Not only for yourself, but for the grand vision of changing this world for the better!

Remember that each of these agreements are works in progress, with deepening layers as you become more adept and aware. So in your exploration and development, remember that you aren't going backwards if you find yourself working on the same agreement (again!).  You've just found another layer!

Here for your constant evolution,

Arohanui,

Nik Chung

Ps. I LOVE that you are a Conscious Leader! Want more personalised help to reach your leadership goals? Send me a private message on LinkedIn or email me on nicola@nikchung.com and let's chat!